Through the thrasing bars of July

After July

Today July told me that nothing bad happened. No records to prove different.
To be continued.



After July Part Two


And sometimes I'll stare across
Perched at the edge of the toilet,
Or cross legged, knees pushing to the floor
Hips aching.
Stare at a plastic moulding
Riding its contours and the shading
without even meaning to.
I scan the depths and recessions in the wall across
as if it were your face.
Each time, a heaviness in my features
My bottom lip drops down, down
and teeth push forward
Sensation from the corners of my eyes to my tongue
My tongue doubling in size.
Reactions not provoked,
for if I wanted provocation I would turn to the mirror.
This wall in the bathroom
This plastic liner provides more honesty
to how you would see me.
And I too can see myself more clearly in this
than in any gleaming or spotted glass.
My chest thrusts its air, compactable
towards the figure, whatever it may be.
This is our first meeting since.
This is my hello.
a moment boxed and put away.

Incidental note* I wrote part two while at my parents house in my old bedroom. When feeling uninspired to write a title, I often just use the month in which the piece is written within the 'title' (or what I save it under). This time I noticed that I had a saved file titled 'after july'. So being the sometimes lazy girl I am, I saved this file as 'after july part two'. Curious, I opened the original 'after july' file and was amused at the combination of the two, and the cyclical nature of it all.

Love Casie

Style Retrospective

Vada Sultenfuss. I may have just been shy of 7 years old when I fell for her. Peasant blouses one day, suspenders and striped t-shirts the next, what may now seem like a boyish and simplistic tween wardrobe became my aesthetic dream. I can recall wearing a white and blue blouse reminiscent of the infamous lipstick/blue eye shadow scene, alongside my favorite and most likely only accessory; my mood ring. Oval shaped and sparkles resting in a glass setting, it never left my hand (my mother can attest to this). While Vada was reunited with her mood-ring at the expense of her best friend Thomas J's life, I seem to have got lucky. While in my old bedroom I looked through my room (as I always do) hoping to find old treasures to bring back into my wardrobe. Coming across the ring I didn't think much, but put it on; it now only fitting my pinky. I put the ring back in the drawer that it was stored in, and didn't think much of it. Watching My Girl this evening however stirred me to be on the lookout for a new mood ring(not to mention cutoff shorts, overalls and red hats) to pay homage to my previous obsession with Vada.
To my first style icon,
xoxo Casie

Yet There are Moods When Parting is an Intolerable Idea

I can't wait.




Lindsay

I Miss Your Ginger Hair, and the Way You Like to Dress

Trinity Bellwoods Park-- July 10th 2009

I touched the soil and he loved me back

When I write short little stories (which I do occasionally for my own amusement) I find that I am endlessly coming back to them, tweeking a sentence here, a structure change there. The stories that I keep evolve and progress when I do. Id be curious to see how they have changed from their original form but alas that cannot be since I do not save what came before. Anyways, here is one I have been playing with for over a year now.

"Pillow Talk" (I just made this title up, but lets face it, it probably wont stick)

“I’m having trouble with meaning,” She stated as if it were the weather, “ I have been thinking about the soul. If there is a source of meaning - it lies within its undefined walls. I don’t know exactly what your thoughts are on the soul. I have always tried to imagine it, where it would be. A ball of light hanging above my head? Thin streams of smoke in the deepest creases of my belly button? Whatever manifestation it possibly takes wouldn’t matter if we had them. They could be a sort of creature comfort like a blanket or a god. It comforts me to think that I have one. I would be happy if the only meaning in life is to protect our souls and let each one reveal itself to us slowly.
Its just lately I’ve been feeling that it be very easy to fall aside in this life. To pursue avenues that seemed to be what one wants but that lead us somewhere without meaning. Meaning is important to me. I feel the need to get up and run. Go somewhere - do something. I think maybe I understand a deeper part of why you always push to go further and further, but I wont presume to know.”

She thought again for a moment, quickly becoming embarrassed by her sudden omission. Her glance fell to the nightstand but the face of the clock offered no comfort.
“I think I might be talking with an echo. Talking nonsense to myself. If you cant understand any of this, don’t worry. I’m having problems forming my thoughts. Thoughts as concepts in my head seem much simpler and easier to understand.”

He shifted on the mattress and then with such certainty he spoke, “ Its okay. We die never knowing the truth of any of it.”

Nothing hurts between duvet covers.




L

The New Romantic

It was my Sunday off from work, and I was flipping through a magazine while standing against the bookshelf in our living room. I came across a fashion spread titled The New Romantics.

I have always considered myself a Romantic, but looking at the images, I felt completely disconnected. When did I become the jaded 21 year old girl shooting sarcastic remarks at any guy who approached? It was time to reconnect with the girl I somehow lost in the last few years. So I dedicated the entire day to romance, with myself. The following photos document my day. From getting ready in my bedroom, to resting on a park bench, I once again felt able to capture the romanticism of my day, and hope you all can do the same.

With Love,
Casie

P.S watching the elderly couple was probably the best moment of my day. Kate Nash's 'Birds' was playing and I may have shed a few tears. But I guess a few tears now and then accompany romance quite nicely.

Give a Little Love, to Get a Little Love

One of our first restless nights in our new apartment, Lindsay and I decided to take to the neighbourhood and spread some joy! We wrote little notes on post-its and left them on random places in our neighbourhood.
Here are the results:


"Smile! You never know who's watching."


"Maybe the whole point of life is to give the perfect kiss. Try today"



"Compliment someones shoes today, just for the heck of it!"

"Buy a lolipop and remember what it's like to be seven"

"Remember to take a breath and smile today. You'll feel better."

I really do hope people found these and smiled to themselves before throwing them to the gutter.

An Open Letter to The Ossington:
It is on. While walking home on Wednesday night my roommate stopped to use your restroom. He then recieved a verbal bitchslap from a very hairy (even for my taste) man. "You're not trendy enough to be here" said the man standing at the urinal. Maybe it was just that one (again very hairy) hipster, but I'm taking it personally. I'll bust out my thick framed glasses and best boyfriend blazer and I will frequent your bar on a Wednesday night just to prove you wrong.
Once again, it is fully on.

Women love these fierce invalids home from hot Climates

Inspiration of the Day:
Tom Robbins, Author

If you were to see me holding one of my Tom Robbins novels you would probably question why it looked like I had it in a passionate embrace. Sometimes you love a piece of writing so much, that you just want to be as physically close to every word as possible. He writes such explosive dreams of adventure and people and meaning. Mixing thoughts of religion with dirty humor. One of the things I have always most been incredibly pleased with is his treatment of women in his novels. It is so refreshing to read a male author who treats his written females as whole human beings capable of self discovery and strength within themselves, so much so that his male protagonists treat them as romantic, sexual, spiritual equals.

My current favourite quote:

" To deny that young girls were throbbing hives of sexual honey was to be both sexist and ageist. On the other hand, to steal samples of that honey or dupe them out of it, or to view them as only hives or even as primarily hives was an equal or perhaps greater wrong."

- Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates, page 137

I'm currently taking a course on Women's Literature and though it focuses on female writers writing the female body, it has none the less changed the way I view representation of women in all literature. There are hidden narratives in all tales.

I wish to say Kudos to Mr. Robbins and thank you for not making us into the virgin or whore, controlled heroine or madwoman but just metaphorically standing beside us, holding our hand and watching the destruction of the world together.

L to the ins

Dreams (with the help of money) Do Come True

I got my romper today. I have already been romping for three hours now... three heavenly hours.


Romp on.

Lins

Time takes a cigarette and puts it in your mouth

Truth be told, I didn't grow up being really into music. Of course I liked it and had preferences but it wasn't a dominate focus of mine. But there will always be those songs and albums that I tied to important events and emotions, the ones that really mattered and changed the way I heard and experienced music. Here they are for your reading pleasure:



Dookie - Green Day.

Green Day's Dookie changed the way I heard music. Songs didn't have to sound like Britney Spears or the Backstreet Boys (no offense to anyone). Suddenly, there were other genres with different messages that seemed to speak to me and who I wanted to be. On a side note, instead of my first love and I just having one song we wanted a whole album and this was it.

Lifted or the Story is in the Soil, Keep your ear to the ground - Bright Eyes

It felt like Frida Kahlo set to music. Everything that was deep and beautiful and awful was set within this album (and all that came after it). Conor Oberst is one of the only musicians I have faithfully followed since hearing for the first time. I realize a lot of people label it as "seriously emo" but there is a quality here that you will never find in the majority of "emo" songs ever.

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars - David Bowie

Clearly amazing. I could listen to it over and over again while fantasizing about that red hair and body suit. The whole idea of David Bowie and his ambiguity and daring captured me. I would drive in my car down hidden country roads, blaring his music, just wasting time. He made it alright for me to be the spunky little thing I wanted to be.

Antics - Interpol

The voice of Paul Banks haunts me. The melody soothes me. The lyrics interest me. This album and band took me by surprise with their oddly wonderful puppet character video for Evil and have please me with their constant originality ever since. I feel like their songs fill every part of my ear when I listen to them, like the sound really is touching me.

Another Side of Bob Dylan - Bob Dylan

I think there is a fairly obvious pattern going on and its based upon my passion for thought provoking, poetic lyrics. And in that respect Bob Dylan should be knighted. The wonderful part of his music was though the concepts in his songs seemed so big, there was an air of simplicity about it. Like a familiar twang that seemed to hint at the idea that Bob Dylan was always going to be your grass roots friend who played on your front porch. This album in particular was special to me because I found some of his songs more story driven and it really made me sit down and listen when I had been so use to tuning out.

So there it is, my glued and patched together list of albums that have resonated with me. I think I have come a long way forward musically from that girl who didn't care enough to buy CDS or maybe I should say gone way back since I buy records now. I went through a lot of different stages in high school but this list is the tried and true, the ones that never faded.
Happy listening everyone,
Lindsay

Tagged...Three weeks later...

This has been long in the making, and long overdue. Since tagged by gracious to write about our five most 'influential' albums, I have been searching my memory for which really stand out, or what I am just currently obsessed with. Thus, this list will be a mix of both. But mostly, what I have listed are linked to me for sentimental reasons. Here it goes.

My Love for the Sound of Music has recently been revived. By exposing Lindsay to the greatness that was my childhood, I have gained a better understanding of how this musical has shaped my life. And not in a cheesy "Climb Every Mountain' sort of way. I grew up watching, dancing and singing to the songs alongside Julie Andrews and the Vontrapp children, so much so that it became part of my identity. Oh, how I longed to be Leisel, Sixteen going on Seventeen (though my understanding of that song has shifted thanks to an education in feminist literature). And to yodel while effortlessly controlling goat-marionettes. Now when I listen, I'm drawn to the sincere voice of Christopher Plumber getting choked up while singing Edelweiss to a room full of Nazis. To Leisel realizing through song that maybe Sixteen is just too young for love. Either way, it's the music I have loved for so long, and I can't see myself getting sick of it too soon.

The next two are much different from the sounds of the Vontrapps, but seem to have found a place in my list. Both remind me of a time in high school, and while some may have been experimenting and rebelling with more rock or punk sounds, here I was. Metric was about as 'alternative' as I got. I can remember 'Live it Out' being played on repeat while getting ready for ballet in the morning, or perfecting my Emily Haines head-shake while singing Monster Hospital in the backseat of a friends car. Maybe not the most mind blowing of records, but for some reason I always seem to remember it in the background.

At the same time Feist was introduced to me by way of my good friend Andrew. He picked it up while music shopping, thinking the girl on the cover resembled me. Thus started my love affair with the woman I would come to know as Leslie Feist. Maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but it is only fitting considering how we first listened to her. In drama class, with a supply teacher sitting in plain view, we snuck behind the black curtains, and lay down, each sharing a headphone. What we heard we immediately loved, and I haven't stopped loving since.

Though I can remember listening to Camera Obscura in high school, my favorite album of theirs wasn't discovered by me until my first year of University. 'Lets Get Out of this Country' served me well through many heartbroken bus rides home, as well as those occasional lonely nights spent in residence. Every song seemed to come at the right time, and while provoking emotion from me at time, there seemed to be a soothing quality about each song that as I was sobbing, I could also think 'It's okay, Tracyanne Campbell has been there too'.

The final addition to the list is a recent favorite, but reminds me so much of driving with my parents as a child. Rekindling my love of country classics with a modern charm, She&Him have been working their way in and out of my play list for over a year, and I can't seem to quit them. The innocence of Zooey Deschanel mixed with M. Ward has not only created an irresistibly charmed collection of songs, but has inspired me to bust out my cowboy boots and 50s dresses for the first time since I was a little girl.


While it might not be the most inspiring, or credible list, these are my favs and I simply ask you take me for what I am. For something guaranteed to be more interesting I challenge Sing City Chronicles as well as J. Broderick.

Veil upon lilac veil

Our Boeing 747 has been fleeing westward from darkened California, racing across the Pacific toward the sun, the incandescent eye of God, but slowly, three hours later than West Coast time, twilight gathers outside, veil upon lilac veil

William (Billy) Manchester