L'appareil a Sous

It's been awhile how you've come back in style

With a plethora of new clothing being brought to me by the magic that is Christmas,

I felt like it was time to pay tribute to some of my own purchases of 2009.
(the sequin clutch is actually Lindsay's, but I DID buy it for her...in 2008...but its too dazzling to not include)

Love Casie

Some Favourite pieces of 2009

Over the Knee Boots Aldo $180

Floral Dress Value Village $12.99
Zipper Belt H&M $10

Beaded Dress Black Market $10

Sequined Clutch Purse The Cove $10

Grandma and Mom's Jewellery

Velvet Cropped Jacket Silver Falls $28

Vintage Nine West Oxfords Ossington St $28

Lying is done with words and also with silence.

Adrienne Rich

Without turning completely somber

I read this in "The Stone Diaries" by Carol Shields and it kind of stuck to my insides.

"Suddenly her body is all that matters. How it's let her down. And how fundamentally lonely, it is to live inside a body year after year and carry it always in a forward direction, and how there is never any relief from the weight of it, even when sleeping, even when joined, briefly, to the body of another... An envelope of flesh, glassine. She lives now in the wide- open arena of pain, surrounded by row on row of spectators. The nights are endless, the morning sun a severity."

As a woman with a chronic disability, I have to face my physical limitations and the pain which stems from a genetic glitch in my body on a daily basis. Having to sit and watch as my conditions worsen as my life progresses further. The last time I saw him, my step grandfather said to me " I know you hurt so much and nobody cares." These words could sound so mean without the right eye. The largest hurdle the human race has ever had to face is that we are all confined in our own forms. Him and I are at a very similar place medically. The truth is that it's hard to constantly care about another person's pain, simply because it is not a presence for ourselves. This is why so many people are starving and dying of cured diseases. We cannot feel another person's physical experience. But we have found traits like empathy in ourselves to help bridge these gaps. I am one to believe in evolution and that we have adapted with particular features for specific reasons. There is a reason we strive to understand what other people are going through and I think it is to break free of our own physical experience to alleviate another's. Step Grandfather was trying to share how he felt about such a physical isolation and truthfully I found these words a odd source of inspiration.

Its not that nobody cares, it's that we are all grappling with this physical confinement. Though some are forced to recognize their constraints early and in a brutal way, perhaps all of us dream of our body dissolving in the air and that barrier being swept away by the wind.

Contemplative,

L

To read a poem in January is as lovely as to go for a walk in June

Girl Crush of the Month. Who am I kidding? Of the Year. I could never tire of Betty Draper's wide-eyed naivetes and tea dresses. This week has found me obsessed with everything January Jones, and I've come across many editorials shots such as these that I love.

Casie

When you're sick on a Sunday...

Who was it that said that love conquers all?

Camera Obscura concert tonight! I have been waiting 5 years to sway in a sweaty room full of strangers to their melodic tunes! Pictures and Details to follow...

with love,

Casie

We're back and we're tightening our bra straps!

Seriously, if you want to take an outfit to the next level of fierce then tighten your bra straps. Instant boost!

I'm living it right now.

L

My Favorite Endorsement of the Year

Though I'm not sure I understand 'cotton' as a brand.

Casie

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life...

This always brightens my day

kisses,
Casie

Through the thrasing bars of July

After July

Today July told me that nothing bad happened. No records to prove different.
To be continued.



After July Part Two


And sometimes I'll stare across
Perched at the edge of the toilet,
Or cross legged, knees pushing to the floor
Hips aching.
Stare at a plastic moulding
Riding its contours and the shading
without even meaning to.
I scan the depths and recessions in the wall across
as if it were your face.
Each time, a heaviness in my features
My bottom lip drops down, down
and teeth push forward
Sensation from the corners of my eyes to my tongue
My tongue doubling in size.
Reactions not provoked,
for if I wanted provocation I would turn to the mirror.
This wall in the bathroom
This plastic liner provides more honesty
to how you would see me.
And I too can see myself more clearly in this
than in any gleaming or spotted glass.
My chest thrusts its air, compactable
towards the figure, whatever it may be.
This is our first meeting since.
This is my hello.
a moment boxed and put away.

Incidental note* I wrote part two while at my parents house in my old bedroom. When feeling uninspired to write a title, I often just use the month in which the piece is written within the 'title' (or what I save it under). This time I noticed that I had a saved file titled 'after july'. So being the sometimes lazy girl I am, I saved this file as 'after july part two'. Curious, I opened the original 'after july' file and was amused at the combination of the two, and the cyclical nature of it all.

Love Casie

Style Retrospective

Vada Sultenfuss. I may have just been shy of 7 years old when I fell for her. Peasant blouses one day, suspenders and striped t-shirts the next, what may now seem like a boyish and simplistic tween wardrobe became my aesthetic dream. I can recall wearing a white and blue blouse reminiscent of the infamous lipstick/blue eye shadow scene, alongside my favorite and most likely only accessory; my mood ring. Oval shaped and sparkles resting in a glass setting, it never left my hand (my mother can attest to this). While Vada was reunited with her mood-ring at the expense of her best friend Thomas J's life, I seem to have got lucky. While in my old bedroom I looked through my room (as I always do) hoping to find old treasures to bring back into my wardrobe. Coming across the ring I didn't think much, but put it on; it now only fitting my pinky. I put the ring back in the drawer that it was stored in, and didn't think much of it. Watching My Girl this evening however stirred me to be on the lookout for a new mood ring(not to mention cutoff shorts, overalls and red hats) to pay homage to my previous obsession with Vada.
To my first style icon,
xoxo Casie

Yet There are Moods When Parting is an Intolerable Idea

I can't wait.




Lindsay

I Miss Your Ginger Hair, and the Way You Like to Dress

Trinity Bellwoods Park-- July 10th 2009

I touched the soil and he loved me back

When I write short little stories (which I do occasionally for my own amusement) I find that I am endlessly coming back to them, tweeking a sentence here, a structure change there. The stories that I keep evolve and progress when I do. Id be curious to see how they have changed from their original form but alas that cannot be since I do not save what came before. Anyways, here is one I have been playing with for over a year now.

"Pillow Talk" (I just made this title up, but lets face it, it probably wont stick)

“I’m having trouble with meaning,” She stated as if it were the weather, “ I have been thinking about the soul. If there is a source of meaning - it lies within its undefined walls. I don’t know exactly what your thoughts are on the soul. I have always tried to imagine it, where it would be. A ball of light hanging above my head? Thin streams of smoke in the deepest creases of my belly button? Whatever manifestation it possibly takes wouldn’t matter if we had them. They could be a sort of creature comfort like a blanket or a god. It comforts me to think that I have one. I would be happy if the only meaning in life is to protect our souls and let each one reveal itself to us slowly.
Its just lately I’ve been feeling that it be very easy to fall aside in this life. To pursue avenues that seemed to be what one wants but that lead us somewhere without meaning. Meaning is important to me. I feel the need to get up and run. Go somewhere - do something. I think maybe I understand a deeper part of why you always push to go further and further, but I wont presume to know.”

She thought again for a moment, quickly becoming embarrassed by her sudden omission. Her glance fell to the nightstand but the face of the clock offered no comfort.
“I think I might be talking with an echo. Talking nonsense to myself. If you cant understand any of this, don’t worry. I’m having problems forming my thoughts. Thoughts as concepts in my head seem much simpler and easier to understand.”

He shifted on the mattress and then with such certainty he spoke, “ Its okay. We die never knowing the truth of any of it.”

Nothing hurts between duvet covers.




L

The New Romantic

It was my Sunday off from work, and I was flipping through a magazine while standing against the bookshelf in our living room. I came across a fashion spread titled The New Romantics.

I have always considered myself a Romantic, but looking at the images, I felt completely disconnected. When did I become the jaded 21 year old girl shooting sarcastic remarks at any guy who approached? It was time to reconnect with the girl I somehow lost in the last few years. So I dedicated the entire day to romance, with myself. The following photos document my day. From getting ready in my bedroom, to resting on a park bench, I once again felt able to capture the romanticism of my day, and hope you all can do the same.

With Love,
Casie

P.S watching the elderly couple was probably the best moment of my day. Kate Nash's 'Birds' was playing and I may have shed a few tears. But I guess a few tears now and then accompany romance quite nicely.