Tiny Furniture

A trailer I saw on We Love You So that I couldn't resist sharing.

Stalling

As I drift through my everyday actions I mostly feel fine. I've tried to separate myself from the feelings of loneliness which inevitably lead to want. I mask the deep desire to reach out to you, to any of you, in the middle of the day. I can make something beautiful on my own. As much as I continue to get through the day somewhat composed, there is still this subtle pounding in my throat that cuts down to my stomach and bursts up to my eyes and makes me want someone. I start to wonder if I'm getting through the day by means of my own strength, or Monday's 1am hook up text, love the one I never hear from. I really hope I'm slowly helping myself shed some of this obsessive behaviour when it comes to these guys, but I'm afraid I'm just putting it off; stalling it. The new ones, the guinea pigs for this new self experiment, keep reappearing in my dreams, more frequently than usual. These dreams (just a continuation of my subconscious throughout the day) are making it hard to get out of bed.

I dreamt I dream

Check out photographer Roberta Ridolfi's visual journal at http://www.idreamtidream.net/

The Trip

Here are some photos from our trip to Peterborough a while back! These were all taken throughout the (amazing) weekend on disposable cameras, which I think are a great addition to any road trip. enjoy.

the getting there.

the zoo.

the camel.

the cougar.

the hats.

the night.


the girl.

the band.

the boy.

the morning after.

the drive home.

Valentines

Girl of my week. Valentine Fillol Cordier

Valentine from Kevin Schaefer on Vimeo.

Minutes later you preceeded to say something that almost broke my heart

Is it possible to temporarily shut down feelings for someone to avoid a week of insanity?

I hope so.

And you search your heart

Lately I find myself staying in bed. I'm not tired, and I don't always fall back asleep. I stretch my arm out across the right side of the bed that I leave open. I can spend up to an hour like this, morning dreams racing through my mind and writing our narrative. Without realizing it, I press my lips to the inside corner of my elbow. This can go on, lips moving, stretching my other arm across to hold my own hand, but eventually I always jump out as quick as I fell in. I fear these projections of a future are interrupting my own memories; I worry I won't always be able to separate what really goes on between us and these rainy morning images, or worse, that I will begin to favor the romance I create in solitude.

find yourself a cup of tea; the teapot is behind you

Taking two weekdays to fully recover from our weekend visit to Peterborough was definitely fitting, but does it ever seem like the time has passed to retell the tale of a wondrous weekend away?While waiting on some lazy adventurers to develop the disposable cameras we made use of throughout the weekend, I thought I would post a few of the digitals we took at Lindsay's family's store. (we managed to wedge this visit in between chinese food, theatre, Philadelphia/grey gardens, a trip to the zoo, value village, a spring bbq, concert, and Alice)

I can't help but think of lovely Ms. Potts...

Lindsay's thought "I'm surprised we don't have a birdcage" was correct. I am surprised.

I wish I had of paid more attention to the poster behind this one

My favorite teacup in the antiques section.

Two Versions of Summer

Here are both Lindsay and I's idealized versions of the spring/summer to come!




(try guessing who's who. It should be quite obvious)

She changes everytime she lies across his bed

I think I always thought of myself as the victim in most of my romantic endeavors. But I'm allowing myself to figure out that when you start to daydream about things ending at the very second they begin, you sort of assign yourself that role. Though I don't want to, I keep thinking about the two that I always fall back on, and how it probably won't be that long until I'm calling them at 3am. I say that's not what I want, I know that's not what I want, but to tell the truth I'm kinda scared to let them go.
Casie

Juliet says, hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack

He's underneath the window, she's singing Hey, la, my boyfriend's back

Mondays are for...

laying in bed thinking about all the early morning calls, the sex, and how it has all got you here.